This post will not be for the faint of heart or the easily offended but if you want to truly know...
The damage social anxiety has done to your personality development so far
and how it has turned you against yourself - you need only take a listen to yourself and the language patterns you use to describe others.
You might be wondering why you would even want to lift that rock to see what lies beneath…
You absolutely should do this because that rock is sitting squarely on your shoulders, its heavy and its oppressive.
By lifting that rock and exposing what lies beneath, you could potentially remove it from your shoulders completely with a little strategy I will teach you at the end of this blog - it will be the beginning of the end for your shy personality...
Think of that rock as being like one colossal kidney stone, it can be broken down with the right treatment, after that it is up to you to maintain the strategy and prevent a new one forming.
The first thing to acknowledge with this self-analysis exercise is that other people are walking small-talking mirrors into our own imposter personality.
Imagine for a moment calling someone a moron or an idiot in your mind, for what may be a very petty thing. Where does your blueprint for that label come from? Yourself of course.
Being inwardly abusive to others is just the doorway into the dark side of our souls
and doesn't the relentless negativity that gets churned out from that side of your mind just get exhausting sometimes?
The following are five different ways I have observed the dark thoughts manifesting from my own mind:
1. The petty resentment.
This type of thought popped up when an inconvenience occurred such as being awoken. (My brain in its momentary flash of negativity made no allowance for the fact I would have missed my flight otherwise)
2. The commentary.
These types of thought are quite mean and directed silently and without provocation at other people for any random number of reasons such as wearing clothes the wrong way, a baby allowed to cry uncontrolled, people coughing without covering their mouths, not washing hands in public loos etc.
3. The imaginary argument.
This type of negativity comes in the shape of creating an imaginary argument with another person ignited usually by a commentary thought. The argument doesn’t last long and it usually never reaches a conclusion so closure is not achieved and the negativity goes unresolved.
4. The rehashed argument.
A variation on the imaginary argument that sees ones brain dredge up a past conflict and replay it over and over until it has been rewritten in your favour.
5. The visual.
This type of negativity is delivered in the form of an image rather than auditory. The visual can be quite disturbing and gives your brain enough leverage to really stick the boot in.
For some reason my brain liked to show me threatening future scenarios where I was in a poor health or wounded. Since gaining mastery over my own mind, fortunately these visions are now a thing of the past.
Thoughts like these, and their many variations are not exclusive to people with SA, shyness.
They are universal to all humans and even very common, even behind the sweetest, most serene of features.
‘It’s amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty equates to goodness’
It just comes down to the degree of which these thoughts are active in the mind.
A mind kept in the dark for a long period of its life by a shyness or social anxiety imposter personality, will naturally experience, and express, many more of the negative dark thoughts from where it dwells.
How to balance, and purge the mind of the negative thoughts. ..
Left unchecked, negative thoughts can quickly spread and get out of control. But with a quick tune up you can soon focus the mind to purge these thoughts.
It works like this:
Imagine you are a fly on the wall of your own mind. You don’t have to take the form of a fly by the way, (and your mind doesn’t have to look like the inside of your head)
You could be a child again, sitting in a tree, observing the ground of your mind below you.
Now, as negative thoughts arise in your mind, give them form too. Let’s imagine they are big worms or centipedes wriggling out of the soft soil surface.
Now, sitting in the tree far above ground, observing them, you can equip yourself with any weapon you like (from a slingshot to a flamethrower) and start eliminating the negative thoughts as they emerge into your mind.
Of course, as you are dealing with your imagination here, you can apply any scenario you like. Your mind could be a house, and negative thoughts to self-criticisms could be flames trying to burn your house down, you could be the fireman that goes in with a high velocity hose and puts out those flames...
This is a very effective exercise for purging a mind hijacked by negative thoughts, and its...
The first step for how to deal with social anxiety.
P.S. Like learning to walk straight after a life of slouching, what i have just described is a conscious exercise, so you won’t always remember to do it, but the more you persist with it, the more the habit will form.
One day, a year from now, you will be awoken early, a bad thought will arise in your mind and instinctively your subconscious will extinguish the thought before it can effect your mood :)